Some thoughts as I get ready to leave

I only have a few days left before I get on a plane to come home. The past few weeks have been busy with things like preparations for the Nativity play which the kids performed on Sunday (I'll post videos on my blog once I get home--so cute!), finishing up homework and reading clubs for the school year, and helping the children write Christmas cards to their sponsors.

I have started to say some goodbyes--the Christiansens left a week ago to go for a 6-week support-raising trip in the States; Carissa, our Canadian volunteer completed her three months here shortly after the Christiansens' departure; Katie left for Illinois this morning. Seeing these people leave--combined with the stress of the last few weeks and the approaching holidays--has made me antsy to be home in some ways. I've started processing, debriefing myself, preparing for the transition home. However, I've also started freaking out a little bit. Hearing about Katie's goodbyes to the kids last night made me tear up; I can't imagine what my goodbyes will be like!

I, along witht he other leaving volunteers, have started to realize taht it will probably be very difficult to effectively communicate what exactly my time at Lily has been like. I'm sure people have lots of different perceptions of my time, perhaps one being that I'm surrounded by precious children all the time, just loving on them. I need to try to abolish myths. My life is like this at times, and even in some of the teaching and working situations, I'm just struck out of the blue by the cuteness of the kids. So, yes, there are some really cute kids here. Yes, I often do get to laugh, read, tickle, and play with them. However, there are also some disrespectful, rude, rebellious, and demanding children that I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Even the especially cute kids have their bad days and some of the cutest kids are the worst behaved! Another thing, my job and work at Lily is not glamorous. We do so much more than just "love on" kids. An orphanage as big as Lily (113 children is big) has a lot of behind-the-scenes work that we volunteers do--food distribution, office work, driving to school, distributing medication, preparing lessons, etc. Most mornings I have minimal contact with children because they're at school and I'm doing things that can't be done as easily as when they're home. We stay busy. We look forward to our days off.

When we do have contact with the kids, we do so much more with them than just playing and hugging them (although that's definitely involved). We do homework club, chest physio, reading, card making, hospital tripss. I am exausted by dinner time and ready for a break from the kids who constantly tap on our windows or our door (although this, too, is often cute).

I really want all of you to have a clear picture that my life in South Africa has not been glamorous. If I could pick one word to describe my time here, it would be "stretching." I'm busy, giving and giving to kids who rarely say thank you, who often disobey, or who are often disrespectful. I'm away from my family for the longest-ever amount of time. I'm in a long-distance relationship. I am living and fellowshipping with a bunch of people whom I had never met five months ago. As I come home, please keep this in mind when you ask me how my trip was. I think it will be easy for me to gloss over the strain of this experience once I'm home and reflecting back on it.

Now that that's clear, I can try to tell you the wonderful parts of my trip. Even though the kids have been crazy and often bad, I love them to pieces! I've been telling people that I'm thankful for their support as I've shared God's love with some precious children. I have been doing this, but sharing God's love looks like many different things throughout my week, sometimes in word and often in deed.

Sharing God's love sometimes looks like:

• Telling the gospel to a new girl at Lily who had never heard about Jesus before.
• Letting children read to me for points and gently helping them with the words they don't know (sometimes this actually is me reading a few words with the child repeating after me).
• Comfroting a 4-year-old as she throws up during chest physio.
• Letting kids play with my hair and trying not to screech when they pull too hard.
• Teaching a Sunday School lesson to a classroom full of kids who won't be quiet.
• Giving tough love by punishing a child who disobeyed the rules at homework club.
• Constantly telling little girls to wear their shirts correctly.
• Giving a "plaster" (band-aid) to every bleeding child and not giving a plaster to every child who asks for one (why is a plaster a trophy? I will never understand.).
• Racing with giggling Grade 1 girls across the yard.
• Setting up for a birthday party.
• Singing "head, shoulders, knees, and toes" with a little girl who doesn't speak English.

I think sharing God's love is different than just "loving on" kids. When I imagine loving on kids, I think of the tickling, laughing, playing kid of love (this does happen often at Lily, especially with my precious nursery munchkins! I love them!), but it's not all we do! God's love is bigger than that because His love covers all areas of life. When I serve these kids, I try to remember that it doesn't matter if they're rude to me or if they say thank you because I am serving God. Jesus says that whatever we do for the least of these, we do for Him. My desire to come here, my stamina to make it through the hard times, the grace and love I am able to give to the kids and my fellow workers are all because of Jesus. He has equipped me for this task far beyond my ability; thus, I am serving for Him. I am here out of a response to His work in my life. Thus, in everything that I do at Lily, when I keep Christ at the center, I am showing God's love.

There have been many precious times. My heart will ache to leave behind some of these kids. I just love loving them so much! As God leads me back to Tampa, through, I put them in His hands, I trust that He will provide love for them through other means since I have just been a vessel fo His love to them.

There are still so many thoughts flowing, so much I still want to share with you about what my time has been like, what it's meant to me, the ways I've been growing over the past few months, but I haven't even processed all of this for myself yet. Please be praying that God would preserve my memories and help me to find the right words to communicate my experience. Also, pray that I would have the courage to point people to the cross if they praise me or what I have done here or ask me why I came. It's only because of Jesus that I'm here, that I'm who I am, that I do what I do. I don't have the strength in myself--He has provided. I've been serving cute little African HIV orphans not because it's my social duty, I'm an especially good person, or I felt guilty; I love because He first loved me. He calls, He equips, He sustains.

I leave Durban at noon (5 am EST) on Friday and arrive home in Tampa at 10:42 am on Saturday. So soon. Please pray that I'll sleep some on the plane. I usually have trouble with that. Also, patience would be great. The 18 hour leg of my travel is definitely trying!

Reading, Nativity, and Nursery

Reading club has been going really great. We've narrowed down the group to four dedicated kids (3 boys and a girl) who love spending an hour with me every day after homework club. I'm really blessed by my time with them. Also, I've been so surprised to already see their improvement! Today, all we did was read a book, and they could do it with some help! That's a HUGE difference from just a few weeks ago.

A team from Operation Mobilization (OM) is here for a few days. The group is about 20 young people from the States, Germany, Korea, and the Netherlands. They are on an African tour, stopping at different ministries for a few days and seeing lots of different places and countries. In January, they settle down in Pretoria for classes until July. They have classes for 2 weeks and then do service for a week or so in the area they were studying. The kids flooded them with requests to read this afternoon--I'm so thankful for their patience!

The preparations for the Nativity play are going well. Palmer has worked non-stop over the past week preparing the costumes for all the actors, dancers, and choir members. My little realm of control, acting, is starting to shape up nicely. We meet 3 times a week with the kids to practice. I've really enjoyed the blocking and staging work that goes into putting on our little production; seeing my plans and coaching actually looking like a Christmas pageant is really fun and fulfilling. It's by no means Broadway or even Community Theater, but the kids are going to do a presentable job on the 9th when they perform for the church in Pietermaritzburg.

The highlight of my days is still playing with the Nursery kids. These 2 through 5 year olds bring so much joy and laughter to my days. Yesterday, a few of us sat with the kids as they played on the trampoline during Nursery. We got hair-styled, pummeled, and high-fived enough to last us the next 6 months. The little boy with whom I do chest physio is in Nursery. I know it sounds corny, but he really is a ray of sunshine in my mornings. I've seen him open up and develop a sparkling personality over the past few months. His laughter is infectious. He is always quick to give me a kiss when I ask for one. I tell him that I love him in broken Zulu, and he smiles up at me and nods. If just thinking about leaving this little guy in 4 weeks breaks my heart, I don't know how I'm going to leave 120-odd kids with my heart still intact! Please be praying that God would start preparing me for that separation, and that my sadness and missing them at our separation will only encourage me for activism and action on their behalves and the behalves of those like them.

I'm going on holiday for 3 nights next week with 3 other volunteers to St. Lucia. The town, which is only a 2 hour drive away, rests right on the ocean. We're staying in a bed and breakfast and hope to relax, go to the beach, and get the chance to see the Big 5 at the large, nearby game reserve.

Also--please be lifting up one of the housemothers. This week, one the precious little 2-year-old girls in her house was taken home by her aunt and uncle. This is wonderful news for the little girl, but really sad for this housemother since she has had 2 other girls leave since the time I've been here. The day after the little girl left, this ma's only sister was murdered. Thankfully, the sister was a Christian. The ma is happy to take comfort in that fact and know that God is in control; nevertheless, I can't imagine what kind of emotions she's going through right now. She was such a beautiful testament to God's love and grace today when she joyfully led the singing at ma's devotions.

A couple of quick prayer requests

Please be praying for me!  Our phones have been down for over a week, and because we've been going over the internet limits for the week, we haven't been allowed to use the internet for the past few days.  There are things that I need to be doing and people I need to be contacting.  Also--I'm missing my family! 

 

Please pray that I would have patience and understanding through this situation.  Also pray that the phones would get fixed soon!

 

I only have 5 weeks left in South Africa.  Pray that I would keep strong in my work and my relationships this last month.  I don't want to start winding down now.  I want to use this time to the fullest!

Reading Club

A quick update--Since we have plenty of help in homework club (we were up to four volunteers as opposed to the previous two with Grades 1 to 3), I decided to try out a reading club with some of the children who are really struggling in English. We evaluated all of the children's spelling/reading level yesterday during homework club (only one 5th grade girl tested at grade level; every other child was below), and I picked out about 8 children with whom I will be working every afternoon for an hour. I am using a curriculum that my mom sent me.

I met today for the first time with the five children I pulled from Grades 2 through 4. All of them came, which I was not expecting. This project is going to take a lot of work, but I am excited to be able to work on something about which I am very passionate. Even though I'm only here for 7(!) more weeks, any little bit of help I can give them will make a difference. I am going to ask some of the volunteers who are staying longer if they want to learn what I'm doing if I see that it is benefiting the children. Also--I'm working around their homework clubs so that I am not taking them away from extra English and math help.

Please be praying that the kids would be interested in learning, that they would come on time, and that they would have loving spirits toward the other children in Reading Club with them.

Zulu Classes and Hospital Visits

Along with my regular responsibilities of food distribution, homework club, and administrative logs, I and a few other volunteers have been reorganizing the clothes store. After we finished the distribution of summer clothing to all the kids (what a task!), we decided that sorting the clothing into types (shorts, t-shirts, long-sleeved shirts, pants, sweaters, etc.) divided by age group (baby, nursery, school, teen) and gender would make clothes distribution so much easier the next time someone has to do it! We’ve sorted through each individual piece of clothing and put it into its corresponding pile or box. We’ve finished the bulk of the work, but now we have to sort through cardboard boxes of donations that haven’t been catalogued or sorted in the first place. A lot of those clothes will be too big for our children, so we’ll give them to the community center for use in their second-hand shop.

I mentioned last time I wrote (such a long time ago!) that we have quite a few volunteers now. I’ve been so thankful for their additions! We’ve been able to start up a lot more specialized projects. Carrissa, who is a nurse, is able to help Sarah with the clinic, nursing, and hospital needs that the children have. I know that with the extra help, Sarah and Carissa have been able to do some much-needed file sorting and medication checking. A few of the volunteers started a prewriting class for the preschool children three times a week. Their hour-long sessions help prepare the children for the writing and reading they will have to start doing in Grade 1 in January. Ben and Lauren, our volunteers from California, now teach a business skills class at the community center on Friday afternoons. We’ve also gotten all the volunteers involved in doing chest physiotherapy. The doctor has recommended three more children for chest physio, so Sarah and I could not handle that load on our own. I no longer work with just one specific child, but work with any of the children on the list when I have a spare thirty minutes.

Preparations for Christmas at Lily are well under way. Groups and organizations have already started contacting Warren about putting on parties and holiday clubs for the children during the Christmas break. Palmer has been working this week on making Lily’s Christmas card. The pictures she has taken of the children are precious. I hope to be able to purchase some of the completed cards to send out to all my friends, family, and supporters in December. I am so sure you will fall in love with these kids once you see their faces! Also in the works, hopefully in time for Christmas, is a cd of some of the choir singing some of their favorite songs. I’m glad that I’ll have something to remind me always of the Zulu songs I love to sing with the children in Sunday School. We’re also starting the preparations for the yearly nativity play that the children put on. This year, they will be performing it at the Sunday service of Holy Trinity Church in Pietermaritzburg, the church the volunteers and youth all attend each week on Sunday evenings. Palmer’s making new costumes for the play, Katie is helping with the dancing, and I will help coach acting. Even though I’m sure these preparations will be trying on my nerves and patience, I’m really looking forward to seeing the play come together.

Two new children have come this week to Lily, a little boy and a little girl. The boy seems quiet and sweet. He’s already found a close friend with one of the grade 1 boys who lives in his house. The girl initially seems like the sweetest, most eloquent and angelic preschooler you have ever seen. After talking or interacting with her for only five minutes, we all discovered that she has a strong and rebellious will of her own. Knowing bits and pieces of her history, though, has made me forgive her that will and try to love on her as much as possible (while still making sure that she’s following the rules, of course).

I experienced my first hospital trip last week. Since I can’t drive manual, I haven’t been on any of the previous weekly hospital trips with the nurses and children. Since Sarah was out of town last week, Sungmin needed one other person to accompany her and two children to the hospital. I readily volunteered. I was in charge of one grade 3 girl who had to have an x-ray. Sungmin left us in the radiology department to go somewhere else in the hospital with a little boy. We didn’t have to wait long for the x-ray to be taken, but then the radiologist sent us—me who had never been to the hospital and a 10-year-old girl—on a wild goose chase around the hospital to some department we could not find signs for anywhere. Eventually, we figured out that the department we were supposed to be in was in a completely separate building, but once we got there, the head nurse told us that we didn’t actually need to come to them at all and only had to take the x-ray results home with us. The x-ray appointment and running around took less than an hour, but we had to wait for 4 more hours until Sungmin and the little boy were finished. We colored, played memory, drank soda from the machine, and read stories while waiting, so both the little girl and I ended up enjoying our time.

Dave Christiansen at the Community Center has started a Zulu class for his family and volunteers and the Lily volunteers on Monday and Thursday nights. The first night we had class, three 18-year-old boys from the community with no teaching experience tried to teach about 25 Americans, Germans, and Brits. It was…ridiculous. After the first night, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go back because it was such a hard environment in which to learn anything; however, Dave had also noted the problem and found a wonderful young woman from the community to teach us. She is 21-years-old and a born teacher. She currently doesn’t have a job (which surprises me because she has so much talent), so our 5-rand-per-class admission fee helps her a lot. I wish we had started the Zulu classes earlier in my stay here, but I’m thankful for the little bit I’ve already learned in three classes. I enjoy practicing my phrases with the children after homework club. They laugh at my pronunciation, but I think they understand what I’m trying to say. There’s one little boy in Grade 3 whose name starts with an “X.” In Zulu, the “x” denotes a click, one of three (or so) in the language. When I first got to Lily, I couldn’t even try to say his name, but now I can get it out without too much trouble. He likes to pretend to ignore me so that I have to say his name four or five times before I get his attention; I guess practice makes perfect?

This Sunday was our last week teaching through the 10 commandments. Each week, I’ve been teaching the children a verse or two of a 10 commandments song that Mrs. Brittain taught me a long time ago when we were doing VBS in Winter Haven. I thought the song might be too hard for them to understand or remember, but they love it! We made up some motions to go along with each commandment and practiced it enough times that the older children can sing it without looking at any of the words. I love wandering around Lily and hearing children singing this song that I taught them. I’m glad that we found a way to get God’s word in their hearts!

I could really use your prayers for sleep. Last week I had three nights where I only slept an hour or so at night. This week, I’ve woken up twice in the middle of the night without being able to fall back to sleep for a couple of hours. The sleeplessness wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t keeping me from doing my work; however, last week I slept through devotions and morning duties twice because I was too exhausted to get up. Please pray that God would give me good rest for the remainder of my time at Lily so that I would be well-equipped for doing the work here to which I know He’s called me. Please also pray that the leaders of Lily would find the employees they need. Last week, a recently-hired administrator at the community center died, and some of the other staff members are praying for guidance regarding their futures at Lily.

I love you! Some random facts: Registration for classes at USF for next semester is coming up in the next couple of weeks. I’m a bit of a nerd when it comes to registration—I love looking at my options and piecing together my ideal semester. I made French toast casserole for Bible study tonight. I’m reading Dracula and loving it. A mouse jumped out at us in the clothes store yesterday, and Lauren and I ran out screaming. We wouldn’t come back in for at least five minutes. I’m looking forward to Advent services at TCC.

Holiday Club Week

Today winds up my last day of Holiday Club responsibilities. Tomorrow, members of the South African Police are probably holding a day of activities for the children. Half of us volunteers—including me—are taking our day off tomorrow. Tomorrow is also Rosa’s birthday, so we’ll maybe go out in the evening. If we make it to an internet café tomorrow, I might try to post some more pictures either on facebook or on my Picasa site; I’ll see which one is easier to access. We’re also going to try to download the new episode of the Office via iTunes. Last week on our day off, we were able to download the first episode of the new season—and loved it!

Holiday Club with the children has been fun but trying. I had one afternoon with the Grade 1, 2, and 3 children doing a scavenger hunt with pictures as clues. The children did well at finding the places where the clues were hidden, but they didn’t always follow their previous clues to get there. In the end, I realized that as long as the kids had fun, it didn’t really matter that they didn’t follow my plan. The older girls loved the dress-up time that I had with them one morning. I wasn’t expecting them to be quite so enthusiastic, but they donned princess dresses like the best of them and loved posing for pictures. My biggest activity this week was reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe out loud to the children. While it was above the comprehension level of many of the younger children, the Grade 5 and 6s really got into the story and characters. We weren’t able to finish it this week, but I think a lot of them will be knocking on my door over the next few weeks to hear the end. We had two afternoons of slip-and-slide on a big, black tarp with soap and hoses. I’m not very good at the sliding part, but we all had fun getting wet.

In the midst of the fun of Holiday Club this week, I’ve been having problems with one of the Grade 6 boys. He resorts very quickly to anger when he doesn’t get his way, and I was in the middle of one such circumstance this week. Even after both Warren and Sungmin spoke with this boy two or three times about respecting authority and obeying without complaining, he still came to me fighting and trying to get his own way. After a few discussions with him, I realized that right now I can’t talk to him without resorting to sin in my words myself. Please pray for my patience, guidance and wisdom for Warren, and a softening of the boy’s heart to words of forgiveness, reconciliation, and selflessness.

Last week we didn’t have Homework Club. Apparently they never have Homework Club the week before school holidays. Instead, the children had a few days to catch up on their reading. Each school term the children read books to volunteers and collect points. The children who reach the point goal at the end of the term get a prize. Last term the prize was going to see a movie. This term, the 12 or so children who completed the task get to go to the beach in Durban. Most of the Grade 1 and 2s aren’t able to read through a whole book on their own, so we will say a word or phrase and have them repeat it after us. Even though they aren’t reading, they are becoming familiar with the feeling of English in their mouths, the sound of it in their ears, and the look of it on the page.

The biggest management task that we’ve been working on the past few weeks has been sorting out the summer clothing for the children. We first had to go house-to-house seeing what clothes each child had. We threw out the rubbish clothes and recorded which summer clothes and shoes the children needed. That project itself took all the mornings of one week. The next week, three of us closeted ourselves away in the windowless Clothes Store and tried to find all the clothes needed in the right size for each of the children. There are boxes and boxes of clothes categorized by age and season. Even though we have so many clothes, it wasn’t easy to find what we needed in the correct sizes. We have very few boys’ clothes and even fewer boys’ summer clothes. We have plenty of teenage girls’ clothes, but not a lot of 5-7 year old girls’ clothes. In the end, we ended up with a list of clothes that need to be bought and over a hundred piles of clothes assigned to different children. We have yet to distribute the clothing to houses, and I’m a bit nervous to see the reactions of the housemothers.

Three of our children were accepted into Focus on Ithemba, a South African group associated with Focus on the Family. The kids will be moving out tomorrow. Focus on Ithemba desires to raise up strong Christian leaders for the country. Ithemba selects children who are doing very well in school and places them in families. The children will move into families with both a mother and a father. They will be living with the children of the parents and other foster siblings. They will have access to good schools, churches, and universities. We are so excited for the futures of these three bright, amazing children, but we also mourn the loss of such vibrant parts of the Lily family. I know already that I will miss the Grade 1 girl who is leaving. She came to my house this morning and gave me two beautiful cards that she made for me. This evening she was close to tears when I gave her a hug. In order to transition the children to their new life, they will come visit us on the weekends for a while. I’m glad that I’ll be able to see this sweet little girl at least a few more times!

We have lots more volunteers since the last time I wrote. Jonny from England, Ben and Lauren from California, Carissa from Canada, and Palmer from Nashville have all been transitioning into life at Lily over the past few weeks. We have quite a full staff right now, so once we start Homework Club and our regular schedule back up next week, I’ll probably have to do some adjusting myself!

My dear, sweet Grade 3s have been improving so much in Homework Club. We had three children who were struggling quite a bit with the concept of multiplication when we taught it two months ago, but when we introduced the 4 and 5 times tables a few weeks ago, all of them understood what we were doing! I was so proud of them and keep praising God for their amazing progress.

Thanks for loving me and being such an amazing support! Please keep me updated on your lives. I miss you.

Soon

Sorry I haven't written a long update in a while! I promise I'll write one this week and post it after the first of the month once we have internet again at Lily. I just wanted to write this note right now to let you know that I am alive and well and thanking God often for you and your support!

This week is a school holiday for the children. We'll have a holiday club with different activities that the kids can sign up for during morning and afternoon sessions. I will be having scavenger hunts and dress-up parties in the mornings, and reading through The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe in the afternoons. Please pray that the kids will have a restful and healthy holiday and that all of us (11!) volunteers would have grace, guidance, patience, and wisdom as we interact with all of the kids all day long.